1. Write down all the things you dislike about yourself
It's important to understand what it is you're struggling with. It could be that you don't even know what it is you don't like or you could be unfair to yourself by writing down multiple things you consider faults. You won't know what it is until you really ask yourself, so do it....
Then rip the piece of paper up, burn it, chew it, give it to the dog, use it as hamster bedding, just destroy it and make sure you can never read it again. You won't be needing that anymore.
2. Make a list of all the things you do like about yourself
It could be your smile, sense of humour, cute big toe, doesn't matter. Just think hard and make a list. You need to think of at least 10. You can do it, it's impossible to not. Even if it's your stamina, your level of tolerance, your well shaped eye brows. I want 10 things. Write them. Read them back. Remember them.
3. Set yourself acheivable short-term goals
Think of some achievable and realistic goals. Ideally short term goals to acheive in the next 12 mnths such as 'Run 10k' or 'Lose a stone' or 'join an online dating site' Postive and acheivable goals. Then figure out an action plan to help you acheive those goals. I wouldn't set too many, maybe a maximum of 5.
4. Erase the easily-erasable negative encouragements in your life
If Aunt Wendy is always moaning about her hip problems, hide the dear old girl from newsfeed. Don't delete her, just hide her. She will never know. If you have a bad habit of reading negative stories on the local news website or Daily Mail, stop doing that too. Instead follow pages which inspire you; wanderlust pages, fitness pages, positive quotes, comedians. Happy happy happy.
5. Decide who makes you happy
Spend time with the people who make you happy.
You may not realise it, but these people also make you confident. You feel comfortable around them. Although you're not comfortable in yourself, you're comfortable in their company. Make sure you see those people as much as you can, at least once a week is a good suggestion.
6. Make an effort with your appearance
It's so easy to get into a slump and think 'why am I bothering anyway, nobody likes me, nobody cares'. Who cares. We want YOU to like you. Nobody else matters. So wake up in enough time to put a bit of extra time into your image, choose an outfit the night before work every day, do your hair nice, make an effort for yourself. Don't do anything which will make you feel out of your comfort zone, just make an effort to feel good about yourself rather than run down.
7. Get organised
A tidy room/desk/garden is a tidy mind. Focus your attention on getting into a routine, be organised, sort out the cupboard in the kitchen that's been bugging you for a while, clear out some old clothes, sort your 2468654791246 emails into organised folders.
8. Spend less time on social media and the Internet
I'm sorry, but I do believe the Internet is one of the biggest problems. It's so easy to compare to other people and thing more negatively of ourselves as a result. Think of things you enjoy doing which will distract you from stalking Michelle Keegan and your boyfriends ex online. Read, go for a jog, catch up on Netflix, do some colouring for adults, play Tetris, focus on your x5 goals. Just don't waste time stalking. We all do it, but stop.
9. Figure out what makes you unhappy about your life
Happy people are more confident than unhappy people. Fact. Figure out what you're unhappy with, could be your boss, debt, the housing estate you live on. Whatever the issue is, become aware of it and work out how to change it.
10. Give yourself a break
If you can afford a holiday, excellent, take one. If not, make sure you know when it's important to have some down-time to chill. Whether it's just a lazy Sunday and a day off from dieting, or a week in Mykonos. Time to chill is so important.
11. Exercise
I love exercise. It really helps you to clear your mind, to feel good about yourself and its a progressive activity too. The more you do it, the better you will get.
12. Music
Music always helps me. I won't lie, I love a bit of cheesy pop music. I listen to Rock/Alternative music mostly, but if I need a quick pick-me-up, I'll listen to some old classics, or some Top 40 tunes. Discovering new amazing music is always a bit uplifting too. Sometimes I will go a few days of not listening to music and it feels so relieving when I finally listen to music again.
13. Walking
Walking is exercise, yes, but actually I feel like it deserves its own number. Walking is a really great way to clear your mind. I walk to work every day (I have the option to catch the tube and be there in 1/4 of the time it takes me to walk but I enjoy walking). Admittedly the rainy days aren't as fun. A bit of fresh air really does me some good though. I tend to deliberately avoid looking on my phone too. It's nice to just be able to walk and think to myself. If you have a dog, try leaving your phone at home or in your pocket when you go out for a walk. It's really nice to just walk and clear your mind.
14. Diet
I go through periods of eating really well and then I have spells of eating terribly. It's amazing how much this effects my attitude. When I am eating healthily, I ususally feel really motivated, awake and happy. When I have bad eating spells, I feel guilty, tired, miserable and it's just not worth it. Eat well, but eat healthily. If you want the ocassional McDonalds, that's fine. Just eat moderately.
15. Learning new skills
If you've always wanted to learn the guitar, do it. If you quite like the idea of learning Spanish, do that too. If you want to join a local baking school, go right ahead. All these activities are progressive. You are working towards something and you can only get better at it. As you get better at something, you will feel better in yourself. You will feel a sense of pride and acheivement and that goes a long way.
I hope this blog has been a bit enlightening. Not to sound cliche, but we have one life. Why spend it miserable?
Thanks for reading.
Mel x
