Stop wasting time and energy

I saw something the other day which made me think and so I thought I would write a blog post about it. It was a picture on the internet which said something along the lines of:

'If you are upset, say what's bothered you.
If you want to go out with someone, ask them.'
Etc etc etc

Too many people don't speak their minds and it's just wasting everyone's time. Time is too precious to be wasted on wondering something. If you ask someone and you don't get an answer. Such as 'is something wrong?' if someone is being a bit off with you, then you get a response of 'nothing'. Move along. There is no point wasting your time wondering what their problem is because at the end of the day... It's their problem, not yours.

You don't NEED anyone. I have, like anyone, had friends in the past who I thought I'd be friends with forever. Then we go our separate ways and guess what? You make new friends. There is a reason certain people walk out of your life. If you needed them there, they would stick around.

Same goes for if you like somebody, don't waste time wondering if they like you back. That is time which you could be spending getting to know somebody else. Ask them out. If they aren't interested, it wasn't meant to be and move on.

Looking back on my life I have absolutely no regrets, except for the things I didn't do that I wish I'd done. The amount of times I was annoyed about something and I didn't say. This is something I am now avoiding. Sure, it might be awkward at the time, but people will respect you more if you're honest. Say what you are thinking. Say what you want because you're only wasting your own time of you don't do it.

Thanks for reading!

Mel x

Marshmallows to Marathons

In 2011 I was my heaviest at almost 16 stone. I was wearing size 18 clothes and avoided leaving the house as I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. I was never really an active child. I hated P.E. I avoided any sports hobbies or classes and I just loved to eat (who doesn't?!) I guess I have turned my life around in the past few years. I exercise a minimum of 4 days a week and I really enjoy it. My diet is still not brilliant, but it is definitely much better than it used to be.

To give you a brief background of my diet in 2011; I loved chocolate and would eat at least 1 bar a day. Crisps and fizzy drinks were also a huge part of my diet and I probably had at least one meal from a fast food restaurant a week.

Photo of me then (left):

What changed all of this was one afternoon back when I was working for Debenhams as a Sales Assistant. I was chatting away to a customer who seemed really friendly. Then​ she asked me 'when is it due?' I still cringe thinking about this today. It was mortifying. I was not pregnant, but clearly I looked it. She was just as humiliated, probably even more so. After that I decided something needed to change. I cannot be mistaken for a pregnant lady again. I was 18 and I should have loved going out clubbing and wearing outrageously revealing clothing like all my friends were, but I was too uncomfortable to do so. 

So I decided to diet. To begin with it was a case of cutting out the obvious things. I gave up fizzy drinks, fast food takeaways, unnecessary snacks and the main thing was chocolate. I gave it up for good. Cut it out of my diet forever. It has now been 6 years and I have still not had any chocolate. I am a recovered chocoholic! 

By 2012 I was a comfortable size 14, weighing about 13.10 stone. This was a plateau that I couldn't get past though. I tried everything. I joined the gym, I carried on eating healthier but could not shift any more weight. It was annoying to say the least. Then I heard about Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. 30 minute hit workouts for 30 days. I then did Jillian's Ripped In 30. I shifted another two stone. 11 stone is the recommended weight for my height. I would recommend Jillian's DVDs to anyone.

Photo of me now (left):

I'm 24 and have just done something I never in my life thought I would do. I have signed up for the 2018 London Marathon. I may not get in, but this is a huge challenge and something I will be working towards for the next year. I have just over a year to train and practice and I am so determined. My diet is still not brilliant. (I have eat two bags of marshmallows in the past two days!!) so this is something I am really going to have to work on over the next year. I will be documenting my training weekly on my blog. So check back for updates on my progress and if you do have any questions I would be happy to answer them.

Thanks for reading!

Mel x

Being a human

Technology never ceases to amaze me. One click of a button and you could be staring at a live video of somebody in a different timezone, in a completely different part of the world. In just a few minutes you could make a plan with 6 of your friends; organise a time, place and date whilst all of you are sitting in different houses doing different things. You could suddenly remember you forgot to buy a present for someone you are due to meet the following evening and Amazon will save the day by delivering a gift the very next morning. You get the idea.

Recently I was feeling a bit low and I just wanted to shut myself out from my phone, the internet, my 'cyber life'. It was only when I found myself asking the question 'what am I going to do instead?' that I realised how crazy the world is. I forget that there is a whole life away from my phone and away from my computer. It suddenly dawned on me how much time I spend watching other people live their lives; whether it's watching YouTube Vloggers or refreshing my Instagram and Facebook newsfeeds. I wonder how many hours of my life I've wasted doing just that, when I could be doing something far more valuable with my time? Like focusing on self development; learning new skills, looking after myself, getting more organised. I think we live in an age where the majority of people we know have some sort of social anxiety, lack of confidence and mild depression and I would say we have technology and social media to blame for that, or at least the amount of time we allow ourselves to spend using them.

I'm not saying I'm going to join a cult, practice a new religion and stop using electrical devices altogether, but I think this realisation has made me more aware of how valuable time is and how important it is to step away from my phone from time to time.

Technology is so advanced and we depend on it. We live from it, we work from it, we have a whole life story of photos somewhere in the cloud and I think we need to remind ourselves occasionally that we are humans. We are not robots. So after I've written this blog post I'm going to continue doing what I have done for the past 4 days and put down my phone, pick up a book, make myself a cup of tea and enjoy not worrying about emails, Instagram and Facebook feeds or who's talking to me on WhatsApp and have a well deserved relaxed evening.

Mel x

Stop wishing away time

When I was in infant school, I desperately wanted to be in Junior School as I always looked up to the bigger kids. Then when I was in Junior School, I wanted to be in Secondary School so my parents would let me have more responsibility. Then when I reached secondary school, I was so excited to turn 16 as I thought that would mean I had everything I needed to get by in life (i.e puberty, a job, independence), then when I reached 16 I wanted to be 17 so I could drive, then 18 so I could drink. I thought I'd be 100% happy by that point, except I got a job at a managerial level when I turned 19 and everyone I worked with was about a decade older than me, so I was embarrassed of my age and actually in denial about it. I wanted to be in my mid 20s so I was taken more seriously and had more in common with the people I worked with.

I'm now at the ripe old age of 24 and for the first time in my life, I don't want to get any older. I want to be young again. Life is scary and I'm no longer wishing it away. If anything, I am so annoyed at my past self for being so ambitious and wishing away all of those years. I feel like I didn't really enjoy them because I was always wishing for something more.

I think this realisation has come a little too late, but also at a safe time. I've realised that I am always wishing away time and if I have any new years resolutions this year, the main one is to start enjoying the moment. I find myself wishing away time even when I don't mean to. Like wishing away the hours in the day so I can go home, or wishing away the days in the week so it can be the weekend, then wishing away the weeks so I can get paid, or wishing away months because I am going on holiday. I think I just need to be more aware of the moment. Really enjoy the present time and make the most of it because when it comes down to it, time is the most valuable thing there is.

Mel x

Being a happy person #2

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post titled 'Being a happy person'. To be honest, since then I've been on a bit of a self destructive warpath emotionally. I've not exactly had one particular thing happen to make me feel so 'meh' I think it is just a build up of little things that amount to this. Back in August I was a completely different person to the one I am now, emotionally. I was in such a positive frame of mind. I think I've just fallen into a bit of a slump and I need to drag my arse back out of it.

So this is 'Being a happy person post #2' and this is my end of year resolution:

1. Exercise
I was exercising all the time and enjoying it. I was really starting to see some results and I felt great about myself. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get my fitness motivation back and start to love it again. It's very easy to lose motivation but picking it up again will take some work.

2. Diet
I wouldn't say I've been too bad with my diet, however I've not been brilliant either. I have a terrible habit of picking up food when on the go, particularly when I'm darting between meetings. This stops now.

3. Work
Work has been CRAZY busy recently. I have a lot of shows about to open and I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail. I'm going to make sure I take a lunch break every day. Even if it's just 10 minutes. Stepping away from the computer to get some fresh air is so important and actually makes you more productive. Truth.

4. Phone time
I feel like this is an obvious one. I really need to spend less time on social media. I don't think I actually do anything of real importance on there anyway. Mostly I lurk around and compare myself to other people. And what does that really achieve? I am going to make a real effort to not waste so much time on Facebook and Instagram and instead have actual phonecalls. There is something really refreshing about having a good phone conversation with a family member or friend. I always feel really happy as I've not had to waste time wondering how a text was meant to be read, I can hear the tone in the other person's voice.

I will let you know how I get on!

Have a great Tuesday.

Mel x

Being a happy person

Today I was getting the train into London. Something I do every working day, however today I had missed my train because a Costa coffee suddenly felt like the most important thing in the world and I think a dozen other people had the same idea.

When I got to the platform I had about half an hour to wait for the next train and my hands were so cold, there wasn't really much else to do other than grasp my warm coffee and observe my surroundings. I really like people watching and so that's what I did.

Shortly before the train arrived, a mother and her son arrived onto the platform. I would have said she was in her late 30s and he must have been about 5. They looked as though they were on their way to London for a day trip to the museums/attractions. The little boy kept smiling at everyone he saw. He was in awe of all the important grown ups standing around him.

He had the biggest grin on his face. He was so excited for the day ahead and excited by being at the train station. As silly as it sounds, that little boy really made me think about how we all let ourselves down as grown ups. When you are that young you take things as they come. You go to school and that's all you are thinking about. You go home and all you care about on your way home is what is happening right at that very moment, how colourful and exciting the world is.

Every day I commute to London and I don't think I really pay much attention to what I am doing, when I am doing it. I'm thinking about work, the emails I need to respond to, the meetings I have planned for the day. Or I'm thinking about my weekend plans, housework I need to do, my next holiday. I don't think I actually notice the people around me or ever take a moment to just be.

I think what makes you a happy person is when you are present in everything you do, like the little boy I saw at the train station. When I say present, I mean you are actually there in physical, mental and emotional form. I feel like half of the conversations we have with each other we are all slightly absent from them. My nan is always telling me to stop and smell the roses around me and I think I finally understand what that means.

Mel x

15 THINGS TO DO TO HELP YOUR CONFIDENCE AND HAPPINESS

Here are 15 things you can do, which I too am doing, to be able to gain self confidence.

1. Write down all the things you dislike about yourself
It's important to understand what it is you're struggling with. It could be that you don't even know what it is you don't like or you could be unfair to yourself by writing down multiple things you consider faults. You won't know what it is until you really ask yourself, so do it....

Then rip the piece of paper up, burn it, chew it, give it to the dog, use it as hamster bedding, just destroy it and make sure you can never read it again. You won't be needing that anymore.

2. Make a list of all the things you do like about yourself
It could be your smile, sense of humour, cute big toe, doesn't matter. Just think hard and make a list. You need to think of at least 10. You can do it, it's impossible to not. Even if it's your stamina, your level of tolerance, your well shaped eye brows. I want 10 things. Write them. Read them back. Remember them.

3. Set yourself acheivable short-term goals
Think of some achievable and realistic goals. Ideally short term goals to acheive in the next 12 mnths such as 'Run 10k' or 'Lose a stone' or 'join an online dating site' Postive and acheivable goals. Then figure out an action plan to help you acheive those goals. I wouldn't set too many, maybe a maximum of 5.

4. Erase the easily-erasable negative encouragements in your life
If Aunt Wendy is always moaning about her hip problems, hide the dear old girl from newsfeed. Don't delete her, just hide her. She will never know. If you have a bad habit of reading negative stories on the local news website or Daily Mail, stop doing that too. Instead follow pages which inspire you; wanderlust pages, fitness pages, positive quotes, comedians. Happy happy happy.

5. Decide who makes you happy
Spend time with the people who make you happy.

You may not realise it, but these people also make you confident. You feel comfortable around them. Although you're not comfortable in yourself, you're comfortable in their company. Make sure you see those people as much as you can, at least once a week is a good suggestion.

6. Make an effort with your appearance
It's so easy to get into a slump and think 'why am I bothering anyway, nobody likes me, nobody cares'. Who cares. We want YOU to like you. Nobody else matters. So wake up in enough time to put a bit of extra time into your image, choose an outfit the night before work every day, do your hair nice, make an effort for yourself. Don't do anything which will make you feel out of your comfort zone, just make an effort to feel good about yourself rather than run down.

7. Get organised

A tidy room/desk/garden is a tidy mind. Focus your attention on getting into a routine, be organised, sort out the cupboard in the kitchen that's been bugging you for a while, clear out some old clothes, sort your 2468654791246 emails into organised folders.

8. Spend less time on social media and the Internet
I'm sorry, but I do believe the Internet is one of the biggest problems. It's so easy to compare to other people and thing more negatively of ourselves as a result. Think of things you enjoy doing which will distract you from stalking Michelle Keegan and your boyfriends ex online. Read, go for a jog, catch up on Netflix, do some colouring for adults, play Tetris, focus on your x5 goals. Just don't waste time stalking. We all do it, but stop.

9. Figure out what makes you unhappy about your life
Happy people are more confident than unhappy people. Fact. Figure out what you're unhappy with, could be your boss, debt, the housing estate you live on. Whatever the issue is, become aware of it and work out how to change it.

10. Give yourself a break
If you can afford a holiday, excellent, take one. If not, make sure you know when it's important to have some down-time to chill. Whether it's just a lazy Sunday and a day off from dieting, or a week in Mykonos. Time to chill is so important.

11. Exercise
I love exercise. It really helps you to clear your mind, to feel good about yourself and its a progressive activity too. The more you do it, the better you will get.

12. Music


Music always helps me. I won't lie, I love a bit of cheesy pop music. I listen to Rock/Alternative music mostly, but if I need a quick pick-me-up, I'll listen to some old classics, or some Top 40 tunes. Discovering new amazing music is always a bit uplifting too. Sometimes I will go a few days of not listening to music and it feels so relieving when I finally listen to music again.

13. Walking
Walking is exercise, yes, but actually I feel like it deserves its own number. Walking is a really great way to clear your mind. I walk to work every day (I have the option to catch the tube and be there in 1/4 of the time it takes me to walk but I enjoy walking). Admittedly the rainy days aren't as fun. A bit of fresh air really does me some good though. I tend to deliberately avoid looking on my phone too. It's nice to just be able to walk and think to myself. If you have a dog, try leaving your phone at home or in your pocket when you go out for a walk. It's really nice to just walk and clear your mind.

14. Diet
I go through periods of eating really well and then I have spells of eating terribly. It's amazing how much this effects my attitude. When I am eating healthily, I ususally feel really motivated, awake and happy. When I have bad eating spells, I feel guilty, tired, miserable and it's just not worth it. Eat well, but eat healthily. If you want the ocassional McDonalds, that's fine. Just eat moderately.

15. Learning new skills
If you've always wanted to learn the guitar, do it. If you quite like the idea of learning Spanish, do that too. If you want to join a local baking school, go right ahead. All these activities are progressive. You are working towards something and you can only get better at it. As you get better at something, you will feel better in yourself. You will feel a sense of pride and acheivement and that goes a long way.

I hope this blog has been a bit enlightening. Not to sound cliche, but we have one life. Why spend it miserable?

Thanks for reading.

Mel x