Being a human

Technology never ceases to amaze me. One click of a button and you could be staring at a live video of somebody in a different timezone, in a completely different part of the world. In just a few minutes you could make a plan with 6 of your friends; organise a time, place and date whilst all of you are sitting in different houses doing different things. You could suddenly remember you forgot to buy a present for someone you are due to meet the following evening and Amazon will save the day by delivering a gift the very next morning. You get the idea.

Recently I was feeling a bit low and I just wanted to shut myself out from my phone, the internet, my 'cyber life'. It was only when I found myself asking the question 'what am I going to do instead?' that I realised how crazy the world is. I forget that there is a whole life away from my phone and away from my computer. It suddenly dawned on me how much time I spend watching other people live their lives; whether it's watching YouTube Vloggers or refreshing my Instagram and Facebook newsfeeds. I wonder how many hours of my life I've wasted doing just that, when I could be doing something far more valuable with my time? Like focusing on self development; learning new skills, looking after myself, getting more organised. I think we live in an age where the majority of people we know have some sort of social anxiety, lack of confidence and mild depression and I would say we have technology and social media to blame for that, or at least the amount of time we allow ourselves to spend using them.

I'm not saying I'm going to join a cult, practice a new religion and stop using electrical devices altogether, but I think this realisation has made me more aware of how valuable time is and how important it is to step away from my phone from time to time.

Technology is so advanced and we depend on it. We live from it, we work from it, we have a whole life story of photos somewhere in the cloud and I think we need to remind ourselves occasionally that we are humans. We are not robots. So after I've written this blog post I'm going to continue doing what I have done for the past 4 days and put down my phone, pick up a book, make myself a cup of tea and enjoy not worrying about emails, Instagram and Facebook feeds or who's talking to me on WhatsApp and have a well deserved relaxed evening.

Mel x

Stop wishing away time

When I was in infant school, I desperately wanted to be in Junior School as I always looked up to the bigger kids. Then when I was in Junior School, I wanted to be in Secondary School so my parents would let me have more responsibility. Then when I reached secondary school, I was so excited to turn 16 as I thought that would mean I had everything I needed to get by in life (i.e puberty, a job, independence), then when I reached 16 I wanted to be 17 so I could drive, then 18 so I could drink. I thought I'd be 100% happy by that point, except I got a job at a managerial level when I turned 19 and everyone I worked with was about a decade older than me, so I was embarrassed of my age and actually in denial about it. I wanted to be in my mid 20s so I was taken more seriously and had more in common with the people I worked with.

I'm now at the ripe old age of 24 and for the first time in my life, I don't want to get any older. I want to be young again. Life is scary and I'm no longer wishing it away. If anything, I am so annoyed at my past self for being so ambitious and wishing away all of those years. I feel like I didn't really enjoy them because I was always wishing for something more.

I think this realisation has come a little too late, but also at a safe time. I've realised that I am always wishing away time and if I have any new years resolutions this year, the main one is to start enjoying the moment. I find myself wishing away time even when I don't mean to. Like wishing away the hours in the day so I can go home, or wishing away the days in the week so it can be the weekend, then wishing away the weeks so I can get paid, or wishing away months because I am going on holiday. I think I just need to be more aware of the moment. Really enjoy the present time and make the most of it because when it comes down to it, time is the most valuable thing there is.

Mel x

Being a happy person #2

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post titled 'Being a happy person'. To be honest, since then I've been on a bit of a self destructive warpath emotionally. I've not exactly had one particular thing happen to make me feel so 'meh' I think it is just a build up of little things that amount to this. Back in August I was a completely different person to the one I am now, emotionally. I was in such a positive frame of mind. I think I've just fallen into a bit of a slump and I need to drag my arse back out of it.

So this is 'Being a happy person post #2' and this is my end of year resolution:

1. Exercise
I was exercising all the time and enjoying it. I was really starting to see some results and I felt great about myself. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get my fitness motivation back and start to love it again. It's very easy to lose motivation but picking it up again will take some work.

2. Diet
I wouldn't say I've been too bad with my diet, however I've not been brilliant either. I have a terrible habit of picking up food when on the go, particularly when I'm darting between meetings. This stops now.

3. Work
Work has been CRAZY busy recently. I have a lot of shows about to open and I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail. I'm going to make sure I take a lunch break every day. Even if it's just 10 minutes. Stepping away from the computer to get some fresh air is so important and actually makes you more productive. Truth.

4. Phone time
I feel like this is an obvious one. I really need to spend less time on social media. I don't think I actually do anything of real importance on there anyway. Mostly I lurk around and compare myself to other people. And what does that really achieve? I am going to make a real effort to not waste so much time on Facebook and Instagram and instead have actual phonecalls. There is something really refreshing about having a good phone conversation with a family member or friend. I always feel really happy as I've not had to waste time wondering how a text was meant to be read, I can hear the tone in the other person's voice.

I will let you know how I get on!

Have a great Tuesday.

Mel x

15 THINGS TO DO TO HELP YOUR CONFIDENCE AND HAPPINESS

Here are 15 things you can do, which I too am doing, to be able to gain self confidence.

1. Write down all the things you dislike about yourself
It's important to understand what it is you're struggling with. It could be that you don't even know what it is you don't like or you could be unfair to yourself by writing down multiple things you consider faults. You won't know what it is until you really ask yourself, so do it....

Then rip the piece of paper up, burn it, chew it, give it to the dog, use it as hamster bedding, just destroy it and make sure you can never read it again. You won't be needing that anymore.

2. Make a list of all the things you do like about yourself
It could be your smile, sense of humour, cute big toe, doesn't matter. Just think hard and make a list. You need to think of at least 10. You can do it, it's impossible to not. Even if it's your stamina, your level of tolerance, your well shaped eye brows. I want 10 things. Write them. Read them back. Remember them.

3. Set yourself acheivable short-term goals
Think of some achievable and realistic goals. Ideally short term goals to acheive in the next 12 mnths such as 'Run 10k' or 'Lose a stone' or 'join an online dating site' Postive and acheivable goals. Then figure out an action plan to help you acheive those goals. I wouldn't set too many, maybe a maximum of 5.

4. Erase the easily-erasable negative encouragements in your life
If Aunt Wendy is always moaning about her hip problems, hide the dear old girl from newsfeed. Don't delete her, just hide her. She will never know. If you have a bad habit of reading negative stories on the local news website or Daily Mail, stop doing that too. Instead follow pages which inspire you; wanderlust pages, fitness pages, positive quotes, comedians. Happy happy happy.

5. Decide who makes you happy
Spend time with the people who make you happy.

You may not realise it, but these people also make you confident. You feel comfortable around them. Although you're not comfortable in yourself, you're comfortable in their company. Make sure you see those people as much as you can, at least once a week is a good suggestion.

6. Make an effort with your appearance
It's so easy to get into a slump and think 'why am I bothering anyway, nobody likes me, nobody cares'. Who cares. We want YOU to like you. Nobody else matters. So wake up in enough time to put a bit of extra time into your image, choose an outfit the night before work every day, do your hair nice, make an effort for yourself. Don't do anything which will make you feel out of your comfort zone, just make an effort to feel good about yourself rather than run down.

7. Get organised

A tidy room/desk/garden is a tidy mind. Focus your attention on getting into a routine, be organised, sort out the cupboard in the kitchen that's been bugging you for a while, clear out some old clothes, sort your 2468654791246 emails into organised folders.

8. Spend less time on social media and the Internet
I'm sorry, but I do believe the Internet is one of the biggest problems. It's so easy to compare to other people and thing more negatively of ourselves as a result. Think of things you enjoy doing which will distract you from stalking Michelle Keegan and your boyfriends ex online. Read, go for a jog, catch up on Netflix, do some colouring for adults, play Tetris, focus on your x5 goals. Just don't waste time stalking. We all do it, but stop.

9. Figure out what makes you unhappy about your life
Happy people are more confident than unhappy people. Fact. Figure out what you're unhappy with, could be your boss, debt, the housing estate you live on. Whatever the issue is, become aware of it and work out how to change it.

10. Give yourself a break
If you can afford a holiday, excellent, take one. If not, make sure you know when it's important to have some down-time to chill. Whether it's just a lazy Sunday and a day off from dieting, or a week in Mykonos. Time to chill is so important.

11. Exercise
I love exercise. It really helps you to clear your mind, to feel good about yourself and its a progressive activity too. The more you do it, the better you will get.

12. Music


Music always helps me. I won't lie, I love a bit of cheesy pop music. I listen to Rock/Alternative music mostly, but if I need a quick pick-me-up, I'll listen to some old classics, or some Top 40 tunes. Discovering new amazing music is always a bit uplifting too. Sometimes I will go a few days of not listening to music and it feels so relieving when I finally listen to music again.

13. Walking
Walking is exercise, yes, but actually I feel like it deserves its own number. Walking is a really great way to clear your mind. I walk to work every day (I have the option to catch the tube and be there in 1/4 of the time it takes me to walk but I enjoy walking). Admittedly the rainy days aren't as fun. A bit of fresh air really does me some good though. I tend to deliberately avoid looking on my phone too. It's nice to just be able to walk and think to myself. If you have a dog, try leaving your phone at home or in your pocket when you go out for a walk. It's really nice to just walk and clear your mind.

14. Diet
I go through periods of eating really well and then I have spells of eating terribly. It's amazing how much this effects my attitude. When I am eating healthily, I ususally feel really motivated, awake and happy. When I have bad eating spells, I feel guilty, tired, miserable and it's just not worth it. Eat well, but eat healthily. If you want the ocassional McDonalds, that's fine. Just eat moderately.

15. Learning new skills
If you've always wanted to learn the guitar, do it. If you quite like the idea of learning Spanish, do that too. If you want to join a local baking school, go right ahead. All these activities are progressive. You are working towards something and you can only get better at it. As you get better at something, you will feel better in yourself. You will feel a sense of pride and acheivement and that goes a long way.

I hope this blog has been a bit enlightening. Not to sound cliche, but we have one life. Why spend it miserable?

Thanks for reading.

Mel x

Things are just things

Before the new year I decided that I didn't want to enter 2016 with clutter, so I had a clear out. Something I realised whilst clearing out every payslip I'd ever received and my college work books from 6 years ago (I know, what the hell?), was that wow... I may have a slight case of OCD.

So there it began. I went slightly crazy and threw out everything that I hadn't used or didn't need to keep. There were so many things I'd kept thinking they were of 'sentimentle value' but couldn't even remember who had bought them for me or why I'd kept them. I had birthday cards from the last 7 years of birthdays. Perhaps I was planning to recycle them, who knows.

I'd also kept hold of things I'd bought in the spur of a past moment that had seemed like a good idea at the time but I had never actually used. The only reason I hadn't parted with them was because I wanted to convince myself that said posessions would eventually be used, rather than accepting I had in fact wasted my money on crap.

I had kept hold of things like tickets from past trips to Thorpe Park. I couldn't remember who I'd been there with that day or why it was important I kept the ticket. If, god forbid, my apartment was to burn down, these things would all be destroyed. Of course that would be overwhelmingly upsetting, however no souvenirs kept from good memories will compare to the actual memories I have in my mind.

I managed to get rid of 7 black bags worth of things to charity and 7 black bags to the tip. It was so refreshing. Since the clear out I have been a lot more responsible with the things I have bought too. There is no point in spending my hard earned money on something if it is never going to be used or appreciated. Yesterday I bought a slow cook recipe book as I've wanted one for a while (I'm getting old and boring apparently). It was reduced from £17.99 to £6.00 - an offer I could not refuse.

When I got it home, I was saddened to realise that actually the recipes in the book were not particularly inspiring. I'd grabbed the book so fast that I hadn't actually looked at it first. 2015 Mel would have kept hold of the book and hoped that her tastebuds would change and convince herself she would eventually utilise the recipes. 2016 Mel has decided this book is just going to sit on the shelf unused, gathering dust, so I will be returning the book to the shop I bought it from.

I'd really encourage everyone to have a clear out. There is no point in keeping hold of things you will not use. If they are still in good condition then donate them to a charity shop so someone else can benefit from your unwanted things.

Thank you for reading.

Mel x

2015: A Wrap-Up

Happy New Year Guys!

I know, I know... my blog posts have been a bit slack. The second half of 2015 was so busy. I seemed to barely find time to watch a bit of TV, let alone write a blog post.

As I mentioned in a previous update, I started doing a bit of freelance work and it all just sort of kicked off. I had some sort of project, be it a logo or website, to work on every single evening of the week. I love designing, it's my hobby. So to be paid to do it is such a great thing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't making enough money to afford the monthly food shopping, let alone warrant leaving my career, but the odd bit of extra pocket money here and there was such a treat from just doing something I really enjoy.

I thought I'd wrap up on 2015 by listing some of the things I've learned and how I plan to take those lessons and make sure 2016 is an even better year. So here goes...

1. I can't do everything

I have always been such a 'yes person'. If ever my friends organise something, I'm always the first to accept the invite. This tends to get a lot harder when you're such a busy person. Last year I agreed to so many things in advance that I'd then get to said event and would have something on literally every evening that week. This made it really hard to have a good time because I was so exhausted from such a busy week I just wanted to go home, jump into my onesie, light my Yankee Candles and binge-watch Luther. 

Lesson for 2016: Don't cram up too much into a short period of time.

2. I'm too much of a pessimist

This is probably the main thing I realised I need to change about myself. I really am such a negative person. Not towards other people, but towards myself. Whenever anything is going well I instantly think 'uh oh' and look for the flaws or question what is going to go wrong.

Lesson for 2016: Enjoy the good, I can't change the future.

3. I don't actually enjoy junk food.

I love burgers, Häagen-Dazs salted caramel ice-cream, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and cheesy chips. I love the taste of them and the motion of eating those things. But... immediately after I always feel awful, guilt-ridden and fat.

Lesson for 2016: I will continue to eat those things but moderately. They will be a treat rather than a regular occurence. 

4. Waking up early is stress-prevention.

I went through a horrid stage before Christmas of just not wanting to get out of bed. I would lay in past all my alarms and then have a mad panic 20 minutes before I need to leave for work. It was just unnecessary stress. On the week just before Christmas I started waking up an hour before I needed to leave the house and I realised that actually, I felt more awake, refreshed and ready to start the day.

Lesson for 2016: Wake up as soon as the alarm goes off.

5. Responsibility with money is far more rewarding than retail therapy.

I feel like such a bore, but recently I paid off a massive chunk of my credit card and cleared my entire overdraft. The feeling of paying off that money and starting up a savings plan was so satisfying that it made me realise that being irresponsible with my money, although I may enjoy a cheeky Starbucks in the morning, just makes me stressed.

Lesson for 2016: Save money, clear the credit card and the occasional treat will feel more rewarding.

Thank you for reading and I wish you all a happy and properous new year!

Mel x