Being a human

Technology never ceases to amaze me. One click of a button and you could be staring at a live video of somebody in a different timezone, in a completely different part of the world. In just a few minutes you could make a plan with 6 of your friends; organise a time, place and date whilst all of you are sitting in different houses doing different things. You could suddenly remember you forgot to buy a present for someone you are due to meet the following evening and Amazon will save the day by delivering a gift the very next morning. You get the idea.

Recently I was feeling a bit low and I just wanted to shut myself out from my phone, the internet, my 'cyber life'. It was only when I found myself asking the question 'what am I going to do instead?' that I realised how crazy the world is. I forget that there is a whole life away from my phone and away from my computer. It suddenly dawned on me how much time I spend watching other people live their lives; whether it's watching YouTube Vloggers or refreshing my Instagram and Facebook newsfeeds. I wonder how many hours of my life I've wasted doing just that, when I could be doing something far more valuable with my time? Like focusing on self development; learning new skills, looking after myself, getting more organised. I think we live in an age where the majority of people we know have some sort of social anxiety, lack of confidence and mild depression and I would say we have technology and social media to blame for that, or at least the amount of time we allow ourselves to spend using them.

I'm not saying I'm going to join a cult, practice a new religion and stop using electrical devices altogether, but I think this realisation has made me more aware of how valuable time is and how important it is to step away from my phone from time to time.

Technology is so advanced and we depend on it. We live from it, we work from it, we have a whole life story of photos somewhere in the cloud and I think we need to remind ourselves occasionally that we are humans. We are not robots. So after I've written this blog post I'm going to continue doing what I have done for the past 4 days and put down my phone, pick up a book, make myself a cup of tea and enjoy not worrying about emails, Instagram and Facebook feeds or who's talking to me on WhatsApp and have a well deserved relaxed evening.

Mel x

15 THINGS TO DO TO HELP YOUR CONFIDENCE AND HAPPINESS

Here are 15 things you can do, which I too am doing, to be able to gain self confidence.

1. Write down all the things you dislike about yourself
It's important to understand what it is you're struggling with. It could be that you don't even know what it is you don't like or you could be unfair to yourself by writing down multiple things you consider faults. You won't know what it is until you really ask yourself, so do it....

Then rip the piece of paper up, burn it, chew it, give it to the dog, use it as hamster bedding, just destroy it and make sure you can never read it again. You won't be needing that anymore.

2. Make a list of all the things you do like about yourself
It could be your smile, sense of humour, cute big toe, doesn't matter. Just think hard and make a list. You need to think of at least 10. You can do it, it's impossible to not. Even if it's your stamina, your level of tolerance, your well shaped eye brows. I want 10 things. Write them. Read them back. Remember them.

3. Set yourself acheivable short-term goals
Think of some achievable and realistic goals. Ideally short term goals to acheive in the next 12 mnths such as 'Run 10k' or 'Lose a stone' or 'join an online dating site' Postive and acheivable goals. Then figure out an action plan to help you acheive those goals. I wouldn't set too many, maybe a maximum of 5.

4. Erase the easily-erasable negative encouragements in your life
If Aunt Wendy is always moaning about her hip problems, hide the dear old girl from newsfeed. Don't delete her, just hide her. She will never know. If you have a bad habit of reading negative stories on the local news website or Daily Mail, stop doing that too. Instead follow pages which inspire you; wanderlust pages, fitness pages, positive quotes, comedians. Happy happy happy.

5. Decide who makes you happy
Spend time with the people who make you happy.

You may not realise it, but these people also make you confident. You feel comfortable around them. Although you're not comfortable in yourself, you're comfortable in their company. Make sure you see those people as much as you can, at least once a week is a good suggestion.

6. Make an effort with your appearance
It's so easy to get into a slump and think 'why am I bothering anyway, nobody likes me, nobody cares'. Who cares. We want YOU to like you. Nobody else matters. So wake up in enough time to put a bit of extra time into your image, choose an outfit the night before work every day, do your hair nice, make an effort for yourself. Don't do anything which will make you feel out of your comfort zone, just make an effort to feel good about yourself rather than run down.

7. Get organised

A tidy room/desk/garden is a tidy mind. Focus your attention on getting into a routine, be organised, sort out the cupboard in the kitchen that's been bugging you for a while, clear out some old clothes, sort your 2468654791246 emails into organised folders.

8. Spend less time on social media and the Internet
I'm sorry, but I do believe the Internet is one of the biggest problems. It's so easy to compare to other people and thing more negatively of ourselves as a result. Think of things you enjoy doing which will distract you from stalking Michelle Keegan and your boyfriends ex online. Read, go for a jog, catch up on Netflix, do some colouring for adults, play Tetris, focus on your x5 goals. Just don't waste time stalking. We all do it, but stop.

9. Figure out what makes you unhappy about your life
Happy people are more confident than unhappy people. Fact. Figure out what you're unhappy with, could be your boss, debt, the housing estate you live on. Whatever the issue is, become aware of it and work out how to change it.

10. Give yourself a break
If you can afford a holiday, excellent, take one. If not, make sure you know when it's important to have some down-time to chill. Whether it's just a lazy Sunday and a day off from dieting, or a week in Mykonos. Time to chill is so important.

11. Exercise
I love exercise. It really helps you to clear your mind, to feel good about yourself and its a progressive activity too. The more you do it, the better you will get.

12. Music


Music always helps me. I won't lie, I love a bit of cheesy pop music. I listen to Rock/Alternative music mostly, but if I need a quick pick-me-up, I'll listen to some old classics, or some Top 40 tunes. Discovering new amazing music is always a bit uplifting too. Sometimes I will go a few days of not listening to music and it feels so relieving when I finally listen to music again.

13. Walking
Walking is exercise, yes, but actually I feel like it deserves its own number. Walking is a really great way to clear your mind. I walk to work every day (I have the option to catch the tube and be there in 1/4 of the time it takes me to walk but I enjoy walking). Admittedly the rainy days aren't as fun. A bit of fresh air really does me some good though. I tend to deliberately avoid looking on my phone too. It's nice to just be able to walk and think to myself. If you have a dog, try leaving your phone at home or in your pocket when you go out for a walk. It's really nice to just walk and clear your mind.

14. Diet
I go through periods of eating really well and then I have spells of eating terribly. It's amazing how much this effects my attitude. When I am eating healthily, I ususally feel really motivated, awake and happy. When I have bad eating spells, I feel guilty, tired, miserable and it's just not worth it. Eat well, but eat healthily. If you want the ocassional McDonalds, that's fine. Just eat moderately.

15. Learning new skills
If you've always wanted to learn the guitar, do it. If you quite like the idea of learning Spanish, do that too. If you want to join a local baking school, go right ahead. All these activities are progressive. You are working towards something and you can only get better at it. As you get better at something, you will feel better in yourself. You will feel a sense of pride and acheivement and that goes a long way.

I hope this blog has been a bit enlightening. Not to sound cliche, but we have one life. Why spend it miserable?

Thanks for reading.

Mel x

MY WEEK IN REVIEW - HAPPY AUGUST!

Hi Guys,

Happy August! Sorry that tomorrows Monday. Believe me, I wish I had the power to change that.

Last week was a pretty busy one. I'm so exhausted as a result. I went to the preview for Impossible on Tuesday night. If you haven't heard about it, it's a new magic show in the West End featuring various world-class magicians. I took Joe along and my bestie Bex with her man Dan. It was so amazing how some of the stunts were done.

I then went to see the show AGAIN on the Thursday, as I was invited to the Press Night. This one was the more glitzy event of the two. There were so many famous faces in attendance, including Dynamo and Jamie Raven who were sat in front of me. I don't often get starstruck but these two very nearly made me lose my cool. 

I thought after seeing the show twice I may be able to explain how some of the stunts were done, but if anything, it has made matters worse! The show is at the Noel Coward Theatre in the West End for a short period only. I'd recommend you all go to see it if you can.

I think I've reached that point in my life, at aged just 22, where I struggle with doing things on school nights. It just completely throws me out. Joe and I were going to see Mission Impossible on Friday but we were so exhausted we settled for Haagen Dazs and Netflix instead. 

- Which reminds me, If you've not tried salted caramel Haagen Dazs you're really missing out. Do yourself a favour and try it. Disclaimer: It could make you fat.

Yesterday I slept in until 11am, before I went to go and pick up my BRAND NEW FOLDING BIKE! It's the best thing ever in the entire world and I am so excited to start cycling to work. I'm also pretty petrified to embrace those deadly London roads. The cars in London seem to think they're competing at Grand Prix.

Guys, meet Reuben ->

...And this is my helmet that I pick up on Tuesday. I'm so in love!

So yeah that's pretty exciting. 

Today I slept in until half 11 before attending a family garden party, I think I've had too much sleep this weekend, so the 6am start tomorrow should be wonderful.

I hope your Mondays aren't too soul destroying. We'll get through it together!

Lots of love, 

Mel x

AMERICAN IDIOT / LOCAL MUSIC FESTIVAL

Happy Monday!

I just thought I would check-in to let you know what I got up to last week. I fancied updating my blog and I guess there have been a couple of interesting events to chat about. I'll split this post into two halves for ya.

American Idiot

I was invited to the press night for American Idiot at The Arts Theatre on Wednesday night. I do spectacularly well at noting down all the details (sarcasm) and I hadn't realised it was the press night we were actually going to, so rocked up wearing comfy clothing.

It turns out everyone else don their best attire, the ladies; sporting high heels and pretty dresses, the men; shirts and tie's. I, on the other hand, was enrobed in a cardigan, a pair of leggings and comfortable pumps. I've never felt so under dressed in all of my life. To make matters worse, the only way into the theatre, to see the show, was via a red carpet.

I think we've all, at some point in our lives, imagined our selves soaring down the red carpet... no? Well anyway, my experience was not as I had ever dreamt of. I scurried down as quick as I could and before anyone could take a picture.

The cast were all incredibly talented though, so if you see yourself as a huge Green Day fan and fancy a bit of musical nostalgia, I'd suggest you bag yourself a ticket.

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Create Music Festival

For those of you who don't live in Ashford or surrounding areas, you probably would never have heard of Create Music Festival. Here's the info: on the last Sunday of every July, the council plop a few music stages onto a field, gather up a ton of local musicians and call in parade of food vans to host an all day music festival. Most of the town will rock up at some point during the day and everyone has a blast.

The event is now in its 20th year (with Adam Ant headlining) and I've been tagging along for the past 8 years. In hindsight, someone from a different part of the country would probably find it a disappointment, but for us 'Ashfordians', it's a blast.

It will usually be nice and sunny, we will all sit in the field with a crate of cider, listening to bands and having a jolly time of it.

Unfortunately, I've not had the best of luck when it comes to weather at festivals this year - What with Download raining for the entire 3 days and getting soaked at British Summer Time, it was just sods law that it had to rain at Create as well.

My friend Millie came back down from London, just for the occasion, so we decided to bite the bullet, ignore the rain and have some fun.

In the ridiculously blurry photo below a few of us are standing with a flag we somehow acquired. It looks pretty empty but I promise you it wasn't THAT dead.

Anyway, I am still nursing my hangover and after the steak I had at the Harvester an hour ago, I'm also tending to my food coma. So thank you for reading, I'll catch you soon!

Mel x

SOCIAL MEDIA - THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE

Has anybody else noticed how we don't miss people unless we fell out with them for a good reason? I've had a couple of friends go travelling for a few months in the past and I didn't miss them at all. This isn't a bad thing, as I still spoke to them every day. I could see the photos they posted on Facebook and Instagram. Social media kept us connected, but do you know what? I hate that. I hate that we don't have to make an effort to meet up with people any more. Social media is the reason that coffee shops and bars are struggling financially.

One of my best friend's Bex I speak to every day, but we can go months without actually meeting up with each other. The reason why is because that's cheaper than going for an overpriced glass of wine or coffee. Prices are shooting up everywhere, because these places are having to compete with the internet.

Mobile phone companies killed the coffee shops. Internet is killing the mobile phone service providers. It's the evolution of the internet. But where is it going? Are we going to have virtual friends? Will we stop leaving the house and just work from home? Buy our weeks food shopping online and have it delivered to our door? Talk to our family and friends via instant messaging from our sofas? We're becoming robots and it's terrifying. 

Don't get me wrong. The internet does bring people together and keep us connected. My aunt was adopted at a young age and through Facebook she's been able to find her family and has spent the past three Christmas' with them. I have friends who have found love on the internet and some have even married because of it. But is the internet taking away our confidence?

Gone are the days where you would be asked for your number in a bar. Now, a guy would just ask for your name, go home, search for you on Facebook and then maybe ask you out. People are starting to use their computer screens as a shield. 

We need to remember that we aren't machines, we are humans. Whilst it's great chatting to your friends on Facebook and Whatsapp (and I do it too) make sure you meet up with them regularly too. If someone takes your fancy when you're at the pub, buy them a drink there and then. If you've spoken to your mum every day on the phone, make sure you still visit her at the weekend. If you watch all your films and TV on Netflix, still make the effort to get the gang together and go to see a film at the cinema. 

Let's not let the internet and our computers destroy us. I hate to sound like a complete hippy, but we're letting that happen. 

Thanks for reading!

Mel x