Stop wishing away time

When I was in infant school, I desperately wanted to be in Junior School as I always looked up to the bigger kids. Then when I was in Junior School, I wanted to be in Secondary School so my parents would let me have more responsibility. Then when I reached secondary school, I was so excited to turn 16 as I thought that would mean I had everything I needed to get by in life (i.e puberty, a job, independence), then when I reached 16 I wanted to be 17 so I could drive, then 18 so I could drink. I thought I'd be 100% happy by that point, except I got a job at a managerial level when I turned 19 and everyone I worked with was about a decade older than me, so I was embarrassed of my age and actually in denial about it. I wanted to be in my mid 20s so I was taken more seriously and had more in common with the people I worked with.

I'm now at the ripe old age of 24 and for the first time in my life, I don't want to get any older. I want to be young again. Life is scary and I'm no longer wishing it away. If anything, I am so annoyed at my past self for being so ambitious and wishing away all of those years. I feel like I didn't really enjoy them because I was always wishing for something more.

I think this realisation has come a little too late, but also at a safe time. I've realised that I am always wishing away time and if I have any new years resolutions this year, the main one is to start enjoying the moment. I find myself wishing away time even when I don't mean to. Like wishing away the hours in the day so I can go home, or wishing away the days in the week so it can be the weekend, then wishing away the weeks so I can get paid, or wishing away months because I am going on holiday. I think I just need to be more aware of the moment. Really enjoy the present time and make the most of it because when it comes down to it, time is the most valuable thing there is.

Mel x